Een speciale aantrekkingskracht

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Het is in mijn opinie niet de sex die twee mensen het sterkst met elkaar verbindt, maar de liefde. En juist dat laatste mis ik sinds Kathleen is vertrokken. De liefde en aantrekkingskracht tussen man en vrouw zijn bijzondere fenomenen. Een man die succesvol is, heeft een speciale aantrekkingskracht op vrouwen. Hij straalt dat op een subtiele wijze uit en praktisch elke vrouw heeft daar voelsprieten voor. Misschien is het een overblijfsel van onze oerdrift, waarbij de kans op voortplanting het grootst is bij de sterke en gezonde paren. Hoe het ook zij, in New York hadden de vrouwen bij bosjes aan mijn voeten gelegen, zonder dat ik er enige moeite voor had hoeven doen. Ik kon vrijelijk kiezen uit de mooiste vrouwen van deze metropool. Alleen mijn relatie met Kathleen had me in toom gehouden. De handelaren op Wall Street hebben blijkbaar een sexappeal waar geen mannelijk torso tegenop kan.
De andere kant van de medaille is ook waar; zodra je aan de onderkant van onze samenleving terechtkomt, is de magie verdwenen. Ik heb geen geld en status meer en kantoorruimte amsterdam moet elke maand vechten om geen honger te hoeven lijden. Hoe aantrekkelijk is een man die elke vrijdag zijn boodschappentas bij de voedselhulp vult? De sex-appeal is verdwenen, terwijl ik nog altijd Nick Larson met dezelfde persoonlijkheid ben. Er is er geen vrouw te vinden die nog interesse in me heeft. Zelfs bij bijstandsvrouwen val ik buiten de boot. Ik heb geen geld om naar de kroeg te gaan of om me in te schrijven bij een datingbureau of om het lot enigszins te veranderen. Dus zijn de afgelopen maanden seksloos en zonder genegenheid verlopen. Dat is het droevige lot van een alleenstaande man in de schuldsanering, waar ik me bij neer moet leggen. Ik mis Kathleen als nooit tevoren. Gewoon iemand om ’s nachts tegenaan te liggen of om je verhaal bij kwijt te kunnen. Het weggaan van Kathleen is een groot gemis in mijn leven.

171 thoughts on “Een speciale aantrekkingskracht

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